Hayden

“Where’s baby Owen, Mom?  I want to see him.”

“Well, honey, baby Owen was sick, and didn’t grow like baby Reese did.  He will not be able to come home with us.” 

This was our original conversation with Hayden on Monday night.  We weren’t sure how to explain everything to him, so this was our best in the moment.  Thankfully, we had a beautiful women stop by to see us on Monday night from a local group called Share.  She mentors families who have lost children.  She had actually lost a child who was stillborn.  She gave us so much insight as to how to explain things to Hayden.  She also convinced us that it was a good idea to let him see baby Owen.  So Tuesday morning, before Hayden came into the room, Dan explained to him what he was going to see.  Owen was going to be cold and his skin was going to look different.  When Hayden came into the room, I could tell he was grieving in his own 3 year old way.  He seemed very uncomfortable and sad.  He looked at Owen and said a few sweet words to him.  Over time, he became more comfortable and kissed his head and looked at Owen’s fingers and toes.  We even took a family picture.  When it was time for us to say our goodbyes to Owen, Hayden walked over to his bassinet, peeked over the edge and said, “Bye Owen, have fun in Heaven!”  I was so thankful that we had a change of heart and let Hayden meet his brother that he will see again someday.