Sunday, May 1, 2011

I need to get a second opinion, I’ll be right back

These are the words every mother fears when she’s in a dimly lit ultrasound room anticipating images of her unborn child, or in our case, unborn children.  When I heard those words Monday afternoon, my heart sank.  I tried to think of other possibilities, maybe the machine isn’t working correctly, maybe it’s because he flipped, or just there is no way this is happening.  The loss of one child is enough, right?  This is not the way the story was supposed to unfold.  These twins were a miracle and a beacon of hope for us and so many others after baby Drew died last summer. 
“I’m so sorry Devon, your baby has passed away.”  I sat there in shock thinking, “You have GOT to be kidding me.”  Curled in a ball on the examination table, I sobbed along with my new friend and ultrasound technician.  She had done almost all of my ultrasounds during my pregnancy and we had actually developed a bit of a friendship.  We were both devastated.  Before long, Dan rushed through the doors only to find out that we were in the midst of what should have been a dream, but was now a reality. 
We were given the options of what would come next, induction or c-section.  I wanted to get our healthy baby girl out as soon as possible, so we opted for the c-section.  Plus in this mental state, I had no idea how a natural labor would pan out.  Within 20 minutes, I was off to labor and delivery to be prepped for a surgery, I didn’t intend to have. 

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