Tuesday morning I woke up pissed off. I can honestly say, I didn’t experience the anger stage of grief when Drew died. People told me I would be angry. They said I would ask, “Why me?” I remember thinking, “Why not me?” I knew so many people pregnant at the time, and if it didn’t happen to us, it would have happened to someone. I would have never wanted anyone else to experience the intense pain that we were experiencing. Tuesday, however, was a different story. I found myself mad. I was mad that I had to meet with the funeral director (thankfully a good friend) again, mad that we had to say good bye to Owen, mad that I was going to have to explain to Hayden why he was only taking one baby home…not 2. This just didn’t and still doesn’t seem fair. I’ve learned very quickly, though, that life is not fair. Things do happen for a reason. God has everything planned out, even though it may make no sense here on earth. At least when my time comes to go to Heaven, I will be so excited to reunite with my boys and ask God lots of questions.
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